It’s a terrible feeling – when you slide back into old habits and fall out of the new path and the clarity that you had found, yet again! Why is it that the corporate world can suck us back in and make us forget what really matters all the time? I mean why can’t salads do that? Ha! Imagine if the hard things were easy!!
So yes, I got lost again ….I got sucked in to a division closure, the termination of 205 people, the restructung of the team I had left, after we acquired a little over two years ago. I did choose to remain a part of this vortex that sucked me in, so I am not a victim, but I am tired. While I don’t mean to make the loss of jobs of others about me, this was a department I built. This was my blood, sweat and tears. My missed family functions, missed dinner dates, missed Saturday’s from exhaustion. It was however, yet another reminder that it is the small things that matter. While I felt guilt, I felt the pain of altering these people’s lives – what I did know that I needed to be their small thing, so I stuck in there, fought for what was right for them, help them with their resumes and network where I could.
So now, with all the empty desks, the quiet, the loss of several people that I connected with each day – I find it only natural to have a sense of loss. I’m just not exactly how to get myself out of it.
How do I get back to the things I enjoy in life?
How do you take a leap of faith to your happiness, yet still be responsible to your obligations?
How do you know what will make you happy?
How do you exit a job that you feel is sucking the life out of you – before it’s too late?
So while I am still kind of lost – I am back to taking inventory of the moments that I enjoy ! 😉
Sometimes it is hard to remember that it truly is the small things that matter, particularly when you feel like all the big things are falling apart. Today I am having a particularly hard time with this – but I know it will pass, and then I will struggle it again. Sometimes all things, big and small, feel like they are colliding, like you are alone, like your wishes and dreams don’t matter, your feelings and thoughts are insignificant and you find yourself in a tad bit of a pity party.
I think the main plague in my life today is my job. I work for an extremely unorganized, uncaring organization and a boss that completely disrespects me and this finds me letting a lot of toxicity enter my life. I don’t really have much of a support network, so while I know the right thing to do to get me back to me is to leave this wasteland behind – but how to I do that? How does one leave what they’ve got, but don’t want, yet need it to survive (read pay bills, eat etc). How does one throw it all up in the air, give life a shuffle and pray that you meet your complete happiness? How do you plan a better path when you are too busy sinking mud where you got stuck off-roading ?
I do appreciate the small things – but sometimes the bigger things consume you – like a tidal wave. No time to re-engerize, no other cheerleader on the sidelines. Time to dust off the Pom-poms!!
Today, it’s a beautiful spring day here. I decided to work from home and enjoy some focus and peace! What better way is there to start the day than with your furry and faithful companion! Off to the lake we went to enjoy our coffee (me) and timbits (him).
It wasn’t that long ago that we used to walk there – but this lil old man cannot go as far as he once could – so a car ride it is!
A car ride to the lake!
He loves the wind through the window – just as much as I love his company!
We need to do this more often ….for both of us.
I love to entertain. Nothing like company helps in getting those loose ends done around the house! But really, it’s more the planning, decorating, cooking and friends/family parts that I love! I decided to host Easter dinner this year at my house – with just a small group. I have been excited about it and been planning it for about a month now. I think it’s the fact that I have been watching what I eat that has made me so excited about making food that’s not on my regular list (a lil holiday indulge!). I’ll write about the food part soon! Today I focused on beginning to execute my plan (insert husband shaking his head here!). With our small group dinner being 4 days out – some may say it’s a little early to set the table, but for me it was another check off the list that keeps it all manageable!
Because I am a big foodie myself – I have asked that no one bring anything as I have everything covered! So I most certainly have my work cut out for me! So table setting and entry decor needed to get out of the way pretty early!
Every dinner party should have a signature cocktail!
Even with a small group – personal touches go a long way! Why not tell mum and dad where to sit! 😊
I love it when everything starts to come together – it’s not always according to plan – but sometimes a plan is just a guideline anyways!
Last year, we planned our summer vacation out on the Canadian west coast. It’s such a beautiful part of the country! Our first stop – Vancouver City – what a unique, eclectic and picturesque city. We chose to stay right near Canada Place (right downtown near the seawall). We had a great view from our hotel where you could see the large Alaskan cruise ships come into Canada Place (Alaskan cruise is on my list!) I found the hotel kept us centrally located – not far from Granville Island, close to Stanley Park – as well as still being close to the airport, and so much more!
You always need to bring something from home …this was his view
This was my view !
True to British Columbia fashion, we did have at least one rainy day (we went in the middle of July). It didn’t dampen our travel spirts! With the mountains as your backdrop and the ocean at your feet – we were collecting Seashells
My husband is amazed that how when I wake up, before breakfast, I can already be thinking about dinner. It’s either where we are going, or what am I making. I love to cook and experience new places and cuisine. That is why part of every road trip has ‘secret stops’ that I have planned – because if it’s crazy to think about dinner when it’s just hours away – it must be certifiably insane to think about it months out! Yes – food makes me happy! I believe I had seen it on food network – but Tacofino is a place you absolutely need to hit up if you find yourself in Tofino (which btw – is another amazing place to visit!!!). Tacofino is a food truck (originally) that focuses on fresh flavors – with an a-mazing menu. It’s a tricky lil place to find off the main road – but absolutely worth the double-back if you miss it. We indulged in the fish tacos – which is what they were originally known for.
It is definitely a popular place with locals and surfers alike. We probably waited about 30 minutes in line – but that is part of the food truck experience if you ask me. They were so good – and yes, while eating them in Tofino, BC – I was already thinking of how I would make them back home!
I remember when my husband and I were driving from Calgary to Moraine Lake, we kept wondering (are those the mountains? Are those mountains!). Boy did we feel silly not thinking we would know for certain when there were mountains! No – we weren’t beamed down to earth that day – but it was overcast through portions of our drive – and let’s face it, we are from the Toronto area and our largest mountain is Blue Mountain – which doesn’t even come close to the Rockies !! The Trans Canada highway, once out of Calgary, is a flat drive – when the road begins to wind, and you can notice the elevation change, it is still just a bit before you enter the section that makes your jaw drop. You’ll feel the same! I remember it was one curve to the right and then it was down in a little valley – then – we were surrounded. Awestruck. The size of them was overwhelming and mesmerizing! We took the Bow Valley Parkway from Banff to Moraine Lake, a more scenic drive than the Trans Canada (heavily wooded and curvy). If making this trip yourself – be sure to plan extra time for the bump outs – they are these touristy little jut outs in the road that allow for you to pull over and looky-loo without making a mess of traffic or endangering yourself or others. The other really neat thing on the Trans-Canada is these animal bridges that exist.
While I never did see anything crossing them – it felt good to see that we had finally found a better way to co-exist, in a respectful way.
In 2015, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Wanting to make sure we did something special, I took to an internet search – ‘Most Beautiful Place in Canada’. It was my inner photographer doing the searching – but the result could not have been more true. Moraine Lake has to be one of the most majestic places I have seen. Now – I am far from a world traveler, but this place will leave you breathless (literally – it’s 6,183ft above sea-level). The scenery was once on the back of the Canadian twenty-dollar bill (below) – but for nearly a week – it was our scenery everyday! The bench in this picture is at the top of the ‘rock pile’ which was just a small hike to enjoy this view. I spent every morning there – until the sound of the air-breaks would indicate the tour buses had arrived (I recommend getting to the top early in the morning – 6am in June). I would get my seven-dollar coffee (I also recommend bringing coffee!) and take it all in – can still feel the crisp glacier air on my face. I can smell the freshness of being so isolated from civilization deep in Banff National Park. I can hear ….I can hear ….nothing – absolute silience. Peace. It was one morning that everything came into perspective for me – everything stopped, yet everything started. So many things that had created mind clutter, became clear, became calm, became in perspective. By no means does this mean, that since this moment, my life is together. What it does mean – is I found a happy place. That place in my brain that I can recall, and have every sense go back to a morning on the rock pile. Where is your happy place? Your Seashell? Look for more posts from this vacation to come soon!